If you’ve ever mentioned your equestrian hobby on Facebook, you know that every post, meme, and article to ever mention a horse is coming your way. Five year old article about Budweiser Clydesdales? You’ll get it every three months. That picture of the Australian soldiers formed up to make the shape of a horsehead? At least semi-annually.
People love us and they want to show they care about us by sharing information about our obsession, and that’s sweet, and I do appreciate it, really. But every now and then, you see that one ridiculous post for the forty-seventh time and you….
…you write a blog post about it.
Here are the top 5 posts appearing on my wall (and your wall!) year after year, without fail.
Number 1: THE 52 FREE THOROUGHBREDS!! It has been so long since the 52 free Thoroughbreds were rehomed, most of them have probably died of old age. Even the ones who were only foals of the time. And yet like lovebugs in April and a panic about frost in January (I live in Florida, remember?) the 52 Free Thoroughbreds post returns from its hibernation to haunt us again and again.
I believe the 52 Free Thoroughbreds found shelter within a few days of the original post, thanks in part to the incredible efficiency of the Facebook share and the passion of certain social media-savvy equestrians, who are always ready to come forward and step up when horses are in need of help. But while Thoroughbreds surely still go through every Sugarcreek auction, the Internet remains on the alert, ready to save these 52 horses of history.
Number 2: It spells HORSE! We all have our taste in horses. Some people like spots. Some people like plain bays. I’m in the plain bay camp, although I’ll drop everything for a flashy red chestnut, too. This horse immediately gets a pass from me because of his all-pink nose and that disdainful hint of white sclera in his eyeball — hey, I’m picky, it’s a personal preference. However, that’s not what most people look at…
No it doesn’t. Somewhere in between the 52 Free Thoroughbreds and “That moment when you realize it spells ‘horse,'” I learned to start checking every meme I saw for truth. Which is how I found out it doesn’t spell “horse.” It’s just a paint horse.
I actually see the appeal of the real-life version of the horse, although I still wouldn’t want to scrub all that white after he’s had a lie-down in his messy stall overnight. That moment when you realize it says “urine,” more like.
Number 3: The Horsehead Wreath. Who originated the horsehead wreath? This little piece of craftmanship is a prime example of the Internet’s penchant for petty theft, because if the original creator of this bundle of evergreen and ribbon had somehow watermarked their photos, copyrighted their design, and started a website selling them, they’d be rich. I assume. Because when you google horsehead wreath, it’s everywhere.
It’s not a subject for Snopes or anything, I mean, it exists, I just find it funny how many times I get tagged in this and similar photos every Christmas.
Number 4: The Horses Under Table and Chairs. First off, this is a terrible horse shelter. I has no walls. What if it’s windy? This farmer was clearly insane.
Second off, it gets posted under some song and dance about a farmer needing to build a horse shelter and getting denied a permit, so he built a table and chairs. This little piece of libertarianism brought to you by the Internet. It’s not a political statement, it’s just an unusual billboard for a lumber business. Thanks, Snopes.
You probably do need a permit to build an advertisement made of a giant table and chairs in your pasture, anyway. And it’s probably harder to get than a regular run-in shed permit would be. Just thinking as I type here.
Number 5: The Most Beautiful Horse in the World. Ai-yi-yi. Where do I even start with this mess. Let’s look at the horse (you’ve all seen it anyway).
I know Akhal-Tekes are special and ancient and the greyhound of the Spice Road or whatever, but this… special, special, special horse… is not the most beautiful horse in the world. Its strange Soviet-Bloc-photo shoot was picked up by Buzzfeed and their hyperbolic-by-design writer called it that because oooooh shiny gold horse! And while I cannot deny the genetic genius of a metallic-colored horse (how did the Cossacks do that??), this is about as far from my ideal (a big-boned mahogany bay, about 16.2 hands high, with no socks and a nice big star, thanks for asking) as a horse can be.
That’s my list (for now). Don’t get me wrong, I really love that people see a horse and immediately think “Natalie would love that!” But I do find it hilarious what keeps showing up, again and again. What post do you keep seeing on your Facebook wall? Is there one you particularly love (or hate?) seeing over and over again?